Case #66 - Stepping out of the circle

Ping talked about the family she grew up in. Her grandparents had not been much interested in her or her sister because they favoured boys. She also didnt feel loved by her parents. Her mother gave her care, but there was rarely any display of softness on her part. Her father had never hugged her.

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Case #67 - A traditional marriage, or a modern marriage?

Hong and Yuen were engaged. She was 35 and he 43. They came because of a difficult dispute they could not resolve. In accordance with tradition, Hong wanted his mother to come live with them after they got married, and Yuen was completely opposed to it.

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Case #68 - The very painful truths

Mandy and Brian came for couples counselling. They were at a crisis. After 15 years of marriage and two children, Brian was having an affair (his fourth in the marriage), and Mandy, at 40, was desperate to save the marriage. She was determine they were not going to split up. Brian came very reluctantly to the session.

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Case #69 -- Hatchling Creativity

Brittany first mentioned that she had recently had a very upset stomach and digestive problems. I wanted to get to know her a bit first before going into this though, as she had mentioned she felt a bit embarrassed about it.

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Case #70 - The unknown seriousness

I notice Manuel put his hand on his chest. He said he felt nervous. So I left it - people are often nervous for a part of a session. I noticed his pants, the varied grey colours on them, and remarked on this - was he a ‘black and white’ person, or a ‘shades of grey’ person?

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Case #71 - The three wishes

Navin mentioned that he ran creative classes with his wife as a hobby. I was interested in what kind of woman she was - strong and powerful he said. I talked about my experience with my wife, also strong and powerful.

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Case #72 - Pleasure leads to letting go of pain

Samantha was a successful businesswoman. But she just couldn't seem to find a partner. She described one of the difficulties - either she worked hard on her businesses, or she worked on trying to find a partner.

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Case #73 - My feelings or your feelings?

Martha described her difficulty getting in touch with her feelings. She was a counsellor, but mostly was in her head. Firstly I focused on the here and how between us. What was it like for her to sit with me, what did she feel in our contact. With each question I asked Martha, I also shared my own feelings.

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Case #74 - Letting in nourishment

I told Annabelle that I appreciated the way she brought herself to life, and to relationships. This was a place of mutuality, a place we shared values. So I also talked about myself, including the places I found a discrepancy between my values of authenticity and being of service, and then my own needs and limitations.

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Case #75 - Shedding Shoulds

Brigitte brought forward a conflict she had with her husband of 18 years. She wanted her parents to live with them, and he didn't. So I invited her into the classic Gestalt dialogue, using two pillows, one for her, and one for her husband.

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Case #76 - The drifting client

Anne was a young woman, with lots of passion when she spoke. Her parents divorced when she was 10. She described how her mother was outgoing and dramatic, while her father seemed quieter. But internally, she spoke of her father as being 'twisted' as his communication looked supportive; in fact it was often about his need or self interest, but expressed indirectly.

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Case #77 - The calm barrier

Tom spoke of wanting me to help 'open his mind up' regarding a difficult topic. He spoke of the importance of trust, and that he felt he could trust me to help him.

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Case #78 - Loneliness in relationship

Tad, a young man, described how he had been sent to boarding school from 7-14. He would see his parents for 2 months each year during the holidays, and some of that time, his father would be away working.

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Case #79 - Are you safe, or unsafe? Or both?

Brian and Melanie were having a dialogue during a group process. Brian was talking about how important trust was to him, and how it took him some time to open up. He had to have a sense of trusting others first. Melanie asked him what exactly he meant by trust. Brian tried to explain - he observed people, watched their behaviour, and then decided if they were communicating in a way he felt comfortable with.

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Case #80 - A little girl, or a bleeding woman?

Dianne was a young woman, small in size, and with lots of energy. She often spoke in a 'little girl' voice, with a pouty edge to it. She expressed her frustration that she wasnt getting what she wanted in our process. She had 'heard it all before', and 'there was nothing new here'.

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Case #81 - From crying to yelling

Jane was doing a process which involved surfacing 'aggression' - strong energies such as anger or rage, and bringing them into the relationship in a contactful way. In Gestalt we view agression as a useful force, necessary for breaking down introjects, or 'shoulds'. Jane kept breaking into tears. When I asked her what she was feeling she reported anger.

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Case #82 - Looking to father

Ian wanted to work on his relationship with his father. He was 41. His mother had died a year ago, after struggling with cancer for 8 years. During this time Ian had been her carer. He had an older brother who originally had volunteered to help, but after Ian started caring for her, she refused help from anyone else but him.

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Case #83 - You have a hard life. Now connect with me.

Adelle had worked in a government employ, customer service position for 20 years. She spoke of how well she peformed her role (she was popular with customers), but she was fairly antisocial in other ways. Her workmakes complained about her, and she didnt make friends there. She wanted connection with people, yet was lonely, had few friends, but couldnt seem to get anywhere.

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Case #84 - Help making friends

Lilly was bright and cheery, in a genuine way. I liked her livliness, and her friendliness. She did indeed brighten up the room. I gave her my personal feedback about this. How I felt easily connected with her, how I appreciated she brought herself into relationship, and how in a place of similiarilty, I found it hard to find anything I could be critical of.

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Case #85 - The empty swimming pool

Danielle told a very traumatic story. Both her husband and herself were teachers, and they travelled together, and taught English in a variety of countries. They had met in college, and it seemed they were very close, both creative, both interested in spirituality, and involved in the arts.

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